Hello, wonderful parent! Have you noticed that your six or seven year old seems to live completely in the moment? Maybe they make the same mistake again and again, even though you've talked about what might happen. Perhaps they eat all their Halloween candy in one sitting, leave their bike in the rain, or forget their water bottle every single day despite getting thirsty.
You're not alone in this, and here's something WONDERFUL I want you to know: what you're seeing isn't a problem at all. It's your child's brain doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing at this age. Their capacity for future-oriented thinking, for imagining the long-term ripples of their choices, is still developing. And that development takes time, patience, and gentle guidance.
In this post, we're going to explore what research tells us about how children develop the ability to think about tomorrow, why this skill takes years to fully develop, and most importantly, how you can support your child's growing capacity for future-thinking in gentle, loving ways. Plus, I'll share a beautiful story that helps children understand how their choices create lasting ripples in the world.
What Is Future-Oriented Thinking?
Future-oriented thinking is the ability to imagine what might happen next, to connect present actions with future outcomes, and to make choices based on long-term consequences rather than immediate desires. It's what helps us save money for something we want, study for a test that's weeks away, or choose healthy foods because we know they'll make us feel good later.
For adults, this kind of thinking feels automatic. But for children, especially those ages six and seven, it's a skill that's still under construction. Their brains are literally building the neural pathways that will eventually allow them to think about legacy, long-term impact, and future consequences.
The Developing Prefrontal Cortex
Here's what's happening in your child's beautiful, growing brain. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for planning, decision-making, and thinking about the future, is still actively developing throughout childhood and won't be fully mature until the mid-twenties. At ages six and seven, your child is right in the middle of this amazing developmental journey.
This means that when your child makes a choice without thinking about tomorrow, they're not being careless or irresponsible. They're being six. They're being seven. Their brain is still learning to hold future possibilities in mind while making present-moment choices.
What Research Shows Us
The research on this topic is SO hopeful and reassuring. Let me share what scientists who study child development have discovered about future-thinking skills.
Future-oriented cognition is one of the critical cognitive skills that children develop for daily performance that is built on memories, and it affects decision-making and mental health.
— Dr. Saeid Sadeghi, Institute for Cognitive and Brain Sciences, Shahid Beheshti University
Studies show that children can start thinking about future events around ages three to four, but their ability to accurately plan and consider long-term consequences improves significantly around ages five to six, and continues developing all through elementary school. Your six or seven year old is right in the middle of this growth phase.
Here's what else the research tells us, and this is really beautiful: environmental factors, particularly parenting approaches, play a crucial role in nurturing these skills. Research demonstrates that authoritative parenting, which combines warmth with clear expectations, positively correlates with stronger future-oriented cognition in children.
The National Academies of Sciences emphasizes that high-quality interactions and supportive parenting contribute substantially to cognitive development and executive function skills during these formative years. That means YOU, wonderful parent, are helping your child's brain grow these abilities every single day, just by being patient, by explaining connections, by helping them think about tomorrow.
Episodic Future Thinking
One of the most exciting findings from recent research is about something called episodic future thinking. This is the ability to mentally simulate future scenarios, to imagine what might happen next. Studies show that teaching children to practice this kind of thinking significantly enhances their ability to make choices that benefit their future selves.
What does this mean for you? It means that simple conversations where you help your child imagine future scenarios are literally building the neural pathways they need for future-thinking. When you ask, "What do you think will happen if we leave your bike outside tonight?" or "How do you think you'll feel tomorrow morning if all your candy is gone today?" you're not just teaching a lesson. You're helping your child's brain practice connecting present actions to future outcomes.
Gentle Strategies to Support Future-Thinking Development
Now that we understand what's happening in your child's developing brain, let's talk about gentle, practical ways you can support this growth. Remember, the goal isn't to force your child to think like an adult. It's to provide opportunities for their brain to practice this emerging skill.
1. Ask Gentle Future-Oriented Questions
Instead of lecturing about consequences, try asking questions that help your child imagine future scenarios:
- "What might happen if...?"
- "How do you think you'll feel tomorrow when...?"
- "What do you think your friend will think next week if...?"
- "If we do this now, what might happen later?"
These questions aren't tests. They're invitations for your child's brain to practice thinking ahead. And here's the beautiful part: even if your child doesn't get the "right" answer, the act of thinking about it is building those neural pathways.
2. Include Them in Planning Activities
When you're making weekend plans, packing for a trip, or preparing for an event, invite your child to help think through what you'll need. This kind of thinking-ahead practice, done in a fun and low-pressure way, helps build future-thinking skills naturally.
- "If we go to the park, what should we bring?"
- "It might rain this afternoon. What's our backup plan?"
- "We're having friends over tomorrow. What do we need to prepare today?"
3. Help Them Notice Patterns
Gently help your child see connections between past experiences and future possibilities. This isn't about making them feel bad about past mistakes. It's about helping them see patterns in a supportive way.
- "Remember last time we forgot your water bottle and you got really thirsty? What could we do differently today?"
- "Last week when you shared your toys, your friend was so happy. I wonder how they'll feel if you share again today?"
- "You practiced piano every day this week and learned that new song! What do you think will happen if you keep practicing?"
4. Read Stories That Show Cause and Effect
Stories are such powerful teachers because they show children, in a gentle and magical way, how choices create ripples that extend far beyond the immediate moment. When children see characters making choices and experiencing the long-term effects of those choices, they're learning about future-thinking in a way that feels safe and engaging.
5. Be Patient with Repetition
Here's something SO important: your child will make the same mistake multiple times. This is completely normal. Their brain is still learning, and learning takes repetition. Each time you patiently help them think through what happened and what might happen next time, you're supporting their development.
The research is clear on this: children whose parents respond with patience and guidance, who help them practice thinking ahead without criticism or frustration, develop stronger future-oriented cognition. They learn that thinking about tomorrow isn't scary or overwhelming. It's just another skill, like tying shoes or reading, that gets easier with practice.
A Story That Can Help
In The Book of Inara, we have a beautiful story that brings the concept of long-term impact to life in a way that six and seven year olds can truly understand and feel:
The Vision Keepers of Clarity Lane
Perfect for: Ages 6-7
What makes it special: This story beautifully demonstrates how caring actions create ripples of positive change. Lucas and Ella discover that an eye doctor's office holds magical memories of everyone who learned to see clearly. But the most beautiful part is when they help a scared child, and they learn that their kind actions don't just disappear. They leave lasting impressions. They create change that extends far beyond what they can see in the moment.
Key lesson: Your choices matter beyond right now. When you choose kindness, when you think about how your actions affect others, you're creating something beautiful that lasts.
How to use this story: After reading together, you can have wonderful conversations. Ask your child: "How do you think helping that scared child made Lucas and Ella feel? Do you think that child will remember their kindness tomorrow? Next week? When you help your friend at school, how might that make them feel later?" These questions help your child practice thinking about the future, about legacy, about the lasting impact of their choices.
You're Doing Beautifully
I want you to know something, wonderful parent. Every time you patiently explain a connection, every time you help your child think about tomorrow, every time you read a story that shows how choices create lasting change, you're nurturing this developing skill. You're helping your child grow into someone who thinks about impact, who considers consequences, who understands that their actions today shape their tomorrow.
When your child makes a choice that seems short-sighted, when they don't think about consequences, take a deep breath. Remember that their brain is still developing this capacity. You're not dealing with a character flaw or a discipline problem. You're supporting a child whose prefrontal cortex is still growing, still learning, still building the neural pathways that will help them think about legacy and long-term impact.
And you know what? This is actually a beautiful time. Your child is learning that their actions matter, that their choices create ripples, that they have the power to affect the world around them in lasting ways. What a WONDERFUL thing to be learning. And you get to be their guide through this discovery.
So be patient with your little one. Be patient with yourself. This is a journey, and you're both exactly where you need to be. The capacity for future-thinking is blossoming in your child's mind, and with your gentle guidance, it will continue to grow stronger every single day.
With love and starlight, Inara
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Show transcript
Hello, wonderful parent! It's me, Inara, and I am so glad you're here today. You know, the Magic Book and I have been thinking about something really important, something that many parents wonder about. Maybe you've noticed that your six or seven year old seems to live completely in the moment. They make choices without thinking about what might happen tomorrow, or next week, or even an hour from now. And you might be wondering, is this normal? Should I be worried?
Let me tell you something WONDERFUL. What you're seeing isn't a problem at all. It's actually your child's brain doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing at this age. Their capacity for future-oriented thinking, for imagining the long-term ripples of their choices, is still developing. And that development takes time, patience, and gentle guidance.
Here's what the research shows us, and this is so beautiful. Children can start thinking about future events around ages three to four, but their ability to accurately plan and consider long-term consequences improves significantly around ages five to six, and continues developing all through elementary school. Your six or seven year old is right in the middle of this amazing developmental journey. Their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that helps with planning and thinking ahead, is still growing and making new connections every single day.
Dr. Saeid Sadeghi, a researcher who studies how children develop future-thinking skills, explains it this way. Future-oriented cognition is one of the critical cognitive skills that children develop for daily performance. It's built on memories, and it affects decision-making and mental health. But here's the key, it's a skill that DEVELOPS. It's not something children are born knowing how to do perfectly. It's something they learn, gradually, with support and practice.
The National Academies of Sciences tells us that high-quality interactions and supportive parenting contribute substantially to cognitive development and executive function skills during these formative years. That means YOU, wonderful parent, are helping your child's brain grow these abilities every single day, just by being patient, by explaining connections, by helping them think about tomorrow.
So what does this mean for you and your child? It means that when your little one makes the same mistake again, when they don't seem to remember that leaving their bike in the rain will make it rusty, when they eat all their Halloween candy in one sitting even though you talked about saving some for later, they're not being careless or irresponsible. They're being six. They're being seven. Their brain is still learning to hold future possibilities in mind while making present-moment choices.
Here's something else the research shows us, and this is really hopeful. Teaching children to mentally simulate future scenarios, to imagine what might happen next, significantly enhances their ability to make choices that benefit their future selves. This is called episodic future thinking, and it's something you can practice together.
You might ask your child, what do you think will happen if we leave your bike outside tonight? How do you think you'll feel tomorrow morning if all your candy is gone today? What might your friend think next week if you break their toy today? These gentle questions help your child's brain practice connecting present actions to future outcomes. You're literally helping build those neural pathways in their developing prefrontal cortex.
And here's where stories become such a beautiful helper. Stories show children, in a gentle and magical way, how choices create ripples that extend far beyond the immediate moment. Let me tell you about one of my favorite stories for this exact situation. It's called The Vision Keepers of Clarity Lane, and it's about Lucas and Ella discovering something truly magical.
In this story, Lucas and Ella visit an eye doctor's office and discover that it holds magical memories of everyone who learned to see clearly. But the most beautiful part is when they help a scared child, and they learn that caring actions create ripples of positive change. They discover that the kind things they do today don't just disappear. They leave lasting impressions. They create change that extends far beyond what they can see in the moment.
This story is perfect for six and seven year olds because it makes the invisible visible. It shows them, in a way they can understand and feel, that their actions matter beyond right now. That when they choose kindness, when they think about how their choices affect others, they're creating something beautiful that lasts.
After you read this story together, you can have such wonderful conversations. You might ask, how do you think helping that scared child made Lucas and Ella feel? Do you think that child will remember their kindness tomorrow? Next week? When you help your friend at school, how might that make them feel later? These questions help your child practice thinking about the future, about legacy, about the lasting impact of their choices.
And here's something else you can do, and this is so simple but so powerful. Include your child in planning activities. When you're making weekend plans, ask them to help think through what you'll need. If we go to the park, what should we bring? If it rains, what's our backup plan? This kind of thinking ahead practice, done in a fun and low-pressure way, helps build those future-thinking skills.
You can also help them notice patterns. Remember last time we forgot your water bottle and you got really thirsty? What could we do differently today? This isn't about making them feel bad about past mistakes. It's about gently helping them see connections between past, present, and future.
The research is so clear on this. Children whose parents respond with patience and guidance, who help them practice thinking ahead without criticism or frustration, develop stronger future-oriented cognition. They learn that thinking about tomorrow isn't scary or overwhelming. It's just another skill, like tying shoes or reading, that gets easier with practice.
So when your child makes a choice that seems short-sighted, when they don't think about consequences, take a deep breath. Remember that their brain is still developing this capacity. You're not dealing with a character flaw or a discipline problem. You're supporting a child whose prefrontal cortex is still growing, still learning, still building the neural pathways that will help them think about legacy and long-term impact.
And you know what? This is actually a beautiful time. Your child is learning that their actions matter, that their choices create ripples, that they have the power to affect the world around them in lasting ways. What a WONDERFUL thing to be learning. And you get to be their guide through this discovery.
The Magic Book and I want you to know something. You're doing beautifully. Every time you patiently explain a connection, every time you help your child think about tomorrow, every time you read a story that shows how choices create lasting change, you're nurturing this developing skill. You're helping your child grow into someone who thinks about impact, who considers consequences, who understands that their actions today shape their tomorrow.
So be patient with your little one. Be patient with yourself. This is a journey, and you're both exactly where you need to be. The capacity for future-thinking is blossoming in your child's mind, and with your gentle guidance, it will continue to grow stronger every single day.
Find The Vision Keepers of Clarity Lane in The Book of Inara, along with so many other stories that help children understand how their choices create beautiful ripples in the world. You've got this, wonderful parent. With love and starlight, Inara.
